This is an open call for all designers and ad people out there: We are launching a new campaign against unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancy. We need you to design the new face of birth control, which will appear in print ads, TV spots and also in person at the bedsides of those irresponsibly engaging in unprotected coitus. We imagine the gnome to be about six foot three or four, bearded or not, about 250 lbs. He needs a memorable face and a booming voice with which to discourage irresponsible sexual practice, and to threaten youngsters who do not heed his warnings. He need to be strong enough to follow through with these threats and able to tie even the smallest penis into a full hitch knot. More elaborate knot work is encouraged for use on the more handsomely endowed.
Submit all designs to OSB for immediate consideration. That is all.
-OSB
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